On New People in One’s Life

Sometimes, usually only after a while, it becomes evident that new people one encounters are simple catalysts that precipitate change in one’s life. Even when, at first, they appear as benevolent, potential friends whose relationship you may want to cultivate, yet, as the relationship develops, you begin to realize that things are not quite as they had first appeared or you expected them to be. But, you will tell me, it’s hard to let go. Much hope had been vested in that friendship-to-be. . . just look at how things have changed and how new horizons have opened up in your life! Well, that’s just it. Their role is over.

It was my case with people who shall remain nameless. I had put so much hope in the budding friendship that what failed to materialize felt almost like a betrayal. I suppose that we had all put our best foot forward (quite natural, you will say, shaking your head and rolling your eyes…).  But, as is said in French, “Chassez le naturel, il revient au galop”. Its equivalent might be, “A leopard cannot change its spots”. Nevertheless, it left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, even if nobody had ever forced me to bite into anything out of my own volition. My doing. Pity that I couldn’t shake the disappointment.

A new awareness came to me in re-reading my old journals. The gist of what had occurred became so evident that it felt as if a cement block (my apologies, I’ve dealt with much of that stuff lately) had hit me over the head. Their role in my life had simply been to introduce me to the path that would lead me to realize my fondest wishes! Duh. . . Now, that makes it very easy to let go of any expectations from anyone else but me. Just those expectations that I put upon myself, knowing full well that all that I can control in my life, is me, my thoughts, my attitude, my actions. (Thank you so much, Dr. Wm. Glasser, for Choice Theory!)

All of a sudden, my mouth is no longer filled with gall but with the sweet nectar of life. My life. At any given moment, it can be a clean slate filled either with optimism or despair. My attitude makes the whole difference. So does the outcome.

LiveJournal Tags: Dr. Wm. Glasser,Choice Theory

Looking Back

Night before last, in search of something to read, I came across my journals of three years ago. Mildly curious, I plunged in. I had just then finished watching “The Secret” and following the instructions, built a Vision Board with great enthusiasm. A Vision Board is a visual representation of what dreams, visions, or plans for the future one wants to realize or accomplish in one’s life. On it I put the photo of a house in Yuma (it was up for sale for just under half a cool million), a photo of my two cherished dogs, Teddie Rottweiler and Keesha Shepherd, both passed away and terribly missed, then candidly imagined myself winning the lottery (hah. . . dream on BIG if at all!). To my mind, it was the only way through which I’d get a house. I had always had dogs—and lived in my own house when with dogs—and knew full well that short of having my own place, I’d never have the right to have two large dogs in a rental. My choice of Yuma, Arizona, reflected my wish to be in a warm and sunny climate. Also, I loved the closeness to Mexico and its vibrant culture.

Little did I know that I was putting in motion universal energies (quantum physics) that would eventually materialize my deepest desires.

Needless to say I never won the lottery. In fact, I stopped buying tickets after a period of dwindling funds. I had let go of the seniors’ apartment and reluctantly of my little cat Tweetie, so named because she didn’t meow, just tweeted like a little bird. As a tiny kitten, she had been found in a dumpster by the previous owner. A few months after I had let her go, she died of an acute feline disease. I was heartbroken. I missed her very much.

Not so with the seniors’ apartment. It had been the most disheartening place imaginable. The majority of residents simply shuffled about, covering an ever diminishing perimeter of activities, resigned to simply wait for death to liberate them from a barely liveable existence.

I took to the road again and had to overcome a bevy of problems, not the least of which were two surgeries to correct the smashing of my right elbow. Neither worked. I was torn. How could something that felt so right be filled with so many hardships? Oh, well… at least I had my Queenie! And I was free and mobile. Like a turtle, I went wherever I wished with my shelter over my vulnerable self.

I will not recount here how I ended up in Santillan, boondocking on my own lot, right now saving so that I can eventually build my own little house. In retrospect, I know NOW that our thoughts are, together with a firm belief that they can become a reality in a time to come, the primary engineer of life events that will eventually manifest them. I NOW realize, with absolute conviction, that what we think (and resultantly feel) we bring about. I may be living for a while on a construction site, but it’s mine. I wasn’t even looking for a lot! My house is as much here as the future mighty oak is potentially alive in the acorn. And… technically… I am in my own house, albeit on wheels!

Two puppies, sisters, just as close to each other as Teddie and Keesha had been, were literally DROPPED at my doorstep. Now, while I cannot honestly state that gigantic Queenie reminds me of diminutive Tweetie, nevertheless her great ambling presence conveys the tranquil love that Tweetie’s velvety paws had.

Who woulda thunk?

My cup runneth over.

LiveJournal Tags: Quantum physics,"The Secret"