Wednesday, May 12, 2010

On New People in One’s Life

Sometimes, usually only after a while, it becomes evident that new people one encounters are simple catalysts that precipitate change in one’s life. Even when, at first, they appear as benevolent, potential friends whose relationship you may want to cultivate, yet, as the relationship develops, you begin to realize that things are not quite as they had first appeared or you expected them to be. But, you will tell me, it’s hard to let go. Much hope had been vested in that friendship-to-be. . . just look at how things have changed and how new horizons have opened up in your life! Well, that’s just it. Their role is over.

It was my case with people who shall remain nameless. I had put so much hope in the budding friendship that what failed to materialize felt almost like a betrayal. I suppose that we had all put our best foot forward (quite natural, you will say, shaking your head and rolling your eyes…).  But, as is said in French, “Chassez le naturel, il revient au galop”. Its equivalent might be, “A leopard cannot change its spots”. Nevertheless, it left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, even if nobody had ever forced me to bite into anything out of my own volition. My doing. Pity that I couldn’t shake the disappointment.

A new awareness came to me in re-reading my old journals. The gist of what had occurred became so evident that it felt as if a cement block (my apologies, I’ve dealt with much of that stuff lately) had hit me over the head. Their role in my life had simply been to introduce me to the path that would lead me to realize my fondest wishes! Duh. . . Now, that makes it very easy to let go of any expectations from anyone else but me. Just those expectations that I put upon myself, knowing full well that all that I can control in my life, is me, my thoughts, my attitude, my actions. (Thank you so much, Dr. Wm. Glasser, for Choice Theory!)

All of a sudden, my mouth is no longer filled with gall but with the sweet nectar of life. My life. At any given moment, it can be a clean slate filled either with optimism or despair. My attitude makes the whole difference. So does the outcome.

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